Breaking the Silence

It shouldn’t be a silent epidemic.

 

It shouldn’t be a secret club.

 

It shouldn’t cause feelings of shame, guilt, and hopelessness.

 

It shouldn’t end friendships, strain marriages, and result in family strife.

 

It shouldn’t…but it does.

 

It should be on the front page of every newspaper and in every magazine on a regular basis.

 

It should inspire others to stand up and fight together, even if it doesn’t affect those others directly.  Believe me, it will someday.

 

It should be discussed at cocktail parties, holiday dinners, and while waiting in line at the supermarket.

 

It should be covered by insurance companies nationwide and all across the world.

 

It should…but it isn’t.

 

Infertility is a silent epidemic.

 

Infertility causes couples to retreat, hide out, and become completely isolated.

 

Infertility results in a loneliness that can’t possibly be described.  Words are simply insufficient.

 

Infertility causes people to feel like outcasts.

 

Infertility causes people to shut down and remain silent.

 

I speak for the silent.

 

I know that pain.  I know that loneliness.  I know that unspeakable darkness.

 

I know the horror of finally opening up, only to be met with, “God has a different plan for you.”

 

I know about the fight for more tests, more medications, and more options.

 

I know about the hefty American Express bills and the hormones that can cause feelings of rage in a moment’s notice.

 

I know about loss.  Four times over.

 

I know about the intense need to have just one person who truly understands.  Yes, I know a thing or two about the isolation that is infertility.

 

But I also know the feeling of making it to the other side.  Twice.

 

I know that I am one of the lucky ones.

 

I know that it was medicine that got me there.  And that a plan by someone else’s God had absolutely nothing to do with it.

 

And I know that the support of my husband was the only thing holding me together during most of our journey.

 

I know about the power of support.

 

I know that I made a promise…a promise that I intend to keep.

 

I made a promise to break the cycle of silence and isolation that surrounds infertility.

 

I speak for the silent, so that the silent can continue the fight.

 

Infertility is a disease of the reproductive system.  There can be one cause, multiple causes, or the ever elusive “unexplained infertility” (no known cause).  Whatever the cause, it is a disease.  There is no blame to be placed or reason for shame.

 

You wouldn’t walk away from a friend discussing cancer or heart disease, would you?

 

Please, friends of the infertile, start listening.  7.3 million Americans need your love and support.

 

Listen.  Talk.  Ask questions.  Provide reassurance.  And, by all means, speak up.

 

It’s time to break the silence…

 

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