There is nothing perfect about infertility.
In fact, you might say that infertility is one big mess of imperfection. Truly, when it comes to infertility it’s all about what’s going wrong.
Treatment of infertility can feel like a guessing game for some. Try these shots, take these pills, and get your levels checked on these days at this time.
There isn’t a lot of control to be found when it comes to infertility.
But there is the handstand.
It doesn’t take an infertile to know the folklore surrounding the legs in the air post sex tactic. Most pregnancy hopefuls have read about this one in a magazine or in a blog post, or, at the very least, have seen it played out in a movie or TV show.
The story goes that if you left your rear end in the air for five to ten minutes following intercourse, the sperm will get to the right place. This, of course, sounds positively absurd. Teen moms everywhere can probably make a solid argument that this extra step isn’t actually necessary.
And yet, we do it. Infertilies and fertiles alike lift our rears in the air night after night with hope of speeding up the conception process.
When I first entered the baby-making game, my sperm directing efforts were half-hearted at best. They swim, for heaven’s sake, how much direction could they possibly need?
After the second miscarriage, I really began to work on my form.
For a while, my husband humored me by holding my legs up for me. How he managed to put up with me continues to amaze me to this very day.
When that wasn’t “working”, I decided to take it to the next level. Clearly I needed to try a real handstand. If I could manage to hold my legs perfectly straight in the air, the sperm would have no choice but to find the correct destination.
You might think I’m joking. I kind of wish I could say I am. Have I mentioned that infertility involves just a little bit of crazy?
But that’s neither here nor there.
It took some practice and a little bit of determination (not to mention a husband full of good humor), but in time I perfected my handstand. Balanced slightly on the side of the bed, I found a way to hold my legs perfectly straight in the air for a very, very long time.
I was a gymnastics dropout…this is kind of a big deal.
Conception attempt after conception attempt, I slithered my way down the side of the bed and to the floor to get into perfect handstand position.
The result? It did absolutely nothing when it came to conception, but my arms were super strong. Who doesn’t want super strong arms?
Besides, it gave me a very small feeling of control during a very long and out of control process…and that can go a long way toward keeping just a hint of sanity in tact.
What do you say, ladies? Care to try the perfect handstand?